Is Okafor's law real or is it another sexist myth?
Okafor's Law, according to the Urban Dictionary, “states that once a Congo has been shined once (C 1 ), it can always be shined (C ∞ ) provided it was shined properly ( P) the previous times. (emphasis on properly)."
"If u have been involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom (mostly in..), the belief is that u can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her again no matter what situation arises (breakups, different lover, etc..)", it says on Urban Dictionary.
In other, less upsetting words, Okafor's Law argues that sex with a woman is guaranteed as long as the first time was good (or not, you be the judge.)
The definition given by Urban Dictionary is the plot of a Nollywood movie of the same name released in 2016. In Okafor's Law (2016), a man is asked to test this theory by his friends and goes on to seduce two women he was previously in a relationship with.
When the movie was released, there was a lot of buzz surrounding the theory. Many entertainment and media outlets published articles and asked the general public about its authenticity.
In one article, a man said the law was "as accurate as physics", while a woman said it was a "sexist myth". Some men said the theory held because women barely experience orgasms during sex, and when they finally get the man who gives them orgasms, they’d keep going back to him to experience it again.
Okafor’s Law is problematic in many ways. It encourages stereotypes that women have no agency, moral principles or values. It perpetuates a narrative that sex or a man’s ability to pleasure a woman sexually clouds all sense of reason.
It also keys into the belief that “good dick will make a woman do anything”, which is an unhealthy way to think about sex. Also, Okafor's law forgets to factor in women who are not attracted to men or are asexual.
Document Women asked a group of women what they thought about Okafor’s law. Many of them agreed that it was a very negative and unrealistic stereotype.
Elohor thinks that the theory is somewhat rooted in rape culture.
“It’s false and, frankly, rapey. We aren’t animals. We have agency. Personally, it’s not great sex, except you’re a good person. And even if you’re the best, if I’ve moved on, I’ve moved on," Elohor said.
Okafor’s Law exaggerates the obvious, that if a person finds a good sexual encounter with someone else, they are most likely to return to that person.
Bell Omuboye reiterates this.
“I think the theory is an exaggeration, but there is truth to it. Although it is frequently used as a reason to falsely distrust women, which is also wrong," She tells Document Women.
Bell admits that certain sexual pointers or activities with someone a person has been with before would increase the odds in their favour. However, she does not believe it creates a reserved spot for that person.
"It’s not for someone to feel fly over the other person because the "law" doesn’t give you the right to move to someone in a relationship instead of finding a new partner," She said.
Okafor’s Law gives men a sense of entitlement to women’s bodies. The theory implies that once a man has had sex with a woman and it was good. He somewhat has a right to her body.
"I've actually had someone get upset that I didn't want to sleep with him anymore," Lilian said. "We had casually been together for a while, and then I decided against sleeping with him. A few months later, we went out for drinks, and he asked if I'd like to go home with him and "hang"; I said no, and he was so affronted."
Lilian believes that, if anything, Okafor's Law favours women. She said being in control of her sex life has seen her pull the most "unavailable" men.
"Exes, old flings, people in relationships; it takes a couple of texts," Lilian said.
I understand that the experiences vary between people and their lifestyles, so there's no one way to decide on how true the law is. The big question remains; Is Okafor's law a myth?